A Prisoner of My Own Mind

This might sound crazy, but I truly believe that every human being has some form and some degree of mental illness. And the trouble we’re having today started way back in the Garden of Eden.
You see, God had this wonderful plan that simply required the human race to love Him, love one another, and live in obedience to Him. Obedience doesn’t mean having to slave and do without any pleasures. It means living life according to His perfect plan. But Eve made the grave mistake of letting Satan, in the form of a serpent, convince her that eating from that one forbidden tree would open her eyes and allow her to be just like God. That’s the very thing that Satan, back when he was Lucifer, the most beautiful of all angels, wanted–to be just like God. Actually, he wanted to be greater than God. Oooops. Not a good idea. Anyway, because Adam and Eve chose to obey Satan instead of God, they were forced to leave the beautiful Garden and live life under the curse of sin. And part of this curse, brought on by an unwillingness to live life God’s way, is mental illness.
I know many people will disagree with me, but I have come to realize that mental illness is one of the results of our unwillingness to follow God’s divine plan for successful living. We worry, we seek vengeance on those who betray us, we run full steam ahead into what we think will bring us tremendous joy and satisfaction only to discover that our plan is totally devoid of God and His perfect love for us. Our bodies and brains were designed by Him to respond to positive thinking and react to negative thinking. By following His perfect plan for our lives, we can avoid experiencing despair, devastation, bitterness, and loneliness.
The depression that came over me was the direct result of my decision not to maintain a close walk with Him. Although I had received Christ as my Savior in 1977, I did not remain diligent and vigilant by studying scripture, starting each day with prayer, and become actively involved in a Bible teaching church. Looking back over the years, it’s now easy for me to see how I actually had set out the welcome mat for the bipolar disorder simply because I refused to live life God’s way. I thought my way was perfectly okay. It most definitely was not. After four suicide attempts and a week in the psychiatric ward, I was ready to make a new start in a new city. That city is Fremont, Nebraska, and God rewarded me with not only a new life but also a new husband and a new church family for emotional and spiritual support.
My heart goes out to everyone who is struggling with any form of mental illness by refusing to allow God to have his rightful place in your life. He is the one who designed your body and your brain. Let Him heal and restore you. His way is perfect. Yours is not.
I’m not claiming to be a mental health practitioner. I’m just someone who no longer struggles with the bipolar disorder. After being diagnosed in 2003, and listening to my husband talk about being delivered from the bondage of alcoholism and meth addiction, I came to realize that God could deliver me from the bondage of mental illness. I invited the Holy Spirit to become my mood stabilizer and allowed the Holy Bible to become my medication. After weaning myself off the pills and increasing my intake of spiritual guidance, I’ve been med free since 2010.
Yes, it can be done, but it does require very strong faith in the healing power of God. I’m almost 55 and never felt more alive!


About concerningtheking

Concerning the King is about proclaiming His truth as it applies to my life and my work. By sharing my experiences (peaks and valleys), I hope to encourage others to draw near to God. I live in Fremont, Nebraska, where I serve as facilitator for Fresh Hope, a faith-based support group for people struggling with mood disorders. Seven years after being diagnosed with the Bipolar Disorder, I realized that getting well and staying well was going to require more than just taking the right pills and seeing the right therapist. I was going to need a closer walk with Christ, which involved daily time in His word, prayer, and a willingness to trust Him no matter how challenging my circumstances. I have discovered that the more I trust Him, the more He gives me to trust Him for. As my spiritual muscles grow stronger, He adds more weight. Belonging to God and living my life for His glory has made a huge difference in my mental wellness. Serving on the board of directors for Care Corps Family Services and being part of their mental health task force has allowed me to bring to the table my experiences with homelessness as well as mental illness. My writing is heavily influenced by the work of redemption God has done in my life. I am eager to help people experience the same deliverance that has empowered me so that I could overcome my fear of failure. Now I'm an entrepreneur. Caring Touch Services of Fremont provides cleaning, pet sitting, and help with packing. With God all things are possible!
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