I was diagnosed with the bi-polar disorder in August of 2003 and was prescribed lithium, a mood stabilizer. Although I had been told I would need to take lithium for the rest of my life in order to remain stable, I have since learned that faith in God is a very powerful tool in the midst of adversity. This mental condition involves mood swings that cause a person to become manic and depressed. I had days when I was so happy I couldn’t keep my mind focused on my work. I also had days when I was so sad I couldn’t keep my mind focused on my work. I found it difficult to maintain a normal sleep pattern; some nights I would lie awake until three or four and other nights getting to sleep at a decent hour only to awaken around three or four and not be able to get back to sleep. I relied on caffiene to get me through the day, which only contributed to my instability.
Depression became so severe that I attempted suicide, overdosing on Zyprexa. When I awoke, my first thought was Oh, crap, it didn’t work! After several years of struggling with the mood swings and getting little relief from medication, I finally followed my husband’s example and surrendered this problem to the Lord. I figured if God can deliver my husband from alcoholism and addiction to crank, he can surely deliver me from my dependency on lithium! I went into the bathroom, held up the bottle to the Lord and said, From now on, my mood stabilizer is the Holy Spirit and my medication is the word of God.
In order to maintain my wellness without pills and counseling sessions, I must, must, must spend time daily in prayer and Bible reading. I listen to excellent teaching on the Bott Radio Network, I attend church, and I fellowship with strong believers who hold me accountable. I have been able, by the grace of God, to remain off of psych meds for two years now. When I feel myself starting to slip, I go boldly to the throne of grace, grab my sword (the word of God), and I call upon the Rock, my Stronghold, my Deliverer. He does not disappoint.